2am,
Trying to sleep, but i can't and neither do I know why. But all I know, tmr is going to be a non-productive day. Tired during the day, slacking around, and only during the night that I got more active. Guess I'm nocturnal that way.... and it doesn't help when I need to wake up 5hours later, which would probably drag to 2hours later.
Been consecutively studying for the past three weeks, with the more slackest attitude. Its quite bad considering how screwed up my exam schedule are. Yet, I'm only barely scraping through everything. Just wanna get over and done with. Anticipating next Thursday already, last paper and I can slack throughout the whole of May.
Throughout the whole entire study period, I slept early everyday, starting my revision around 2-3pm and ending it at 11pm. Not even a full 12hours schedule, with 1 video in between breaks. That's how bad it has become. Cannot understand the lesson plan due to skipping most of the lectures, which I am still not really regretful for, and doing all the tutorials (more like memorizing and praying that it got into my head). Maybe I got overconfident because I got a lot of love from seniors with their notes right in front of me. This is quite bad.
Been praying to have a humble heart, and to rely on God more than ever. And trying to put in effort and not get distracted by everything else. I need to continue to work hard, to do well. Though I know that education is not a measure of success, but having proper qualifications is needed in the competitive society of Singapore. Knowing that God loves me even if I don't score well just makes education seem so trivial to me.
Experiencing God has never been so real throughout my education journey. Just before my SM paper, I was praying that the essays that I've memorized super hard for would come out. It was just a fleeting thought to get 2-3 questions that I was most confident of. The moment I flip the paper, I immediately smiled. My first thought was: "Praise God, Hallelujah"
Memorizing 12 essays answer is no easy feat, reading through the MCQ questions and memorizing the answer on the way to school doesn't help much. But it was all I managed. I only remembered spending 2 days before the exams, memorizing the essays. And that 2-3 hours before the paper reading through everything, even have 30mins to relax before the paper starts. How amazing God is. I even have time to watch videos during dinner -.-''' which lasted for 1hr. LOL!
Next week, 2 toughest paper in my uni life.I've studied one module but haven't really memorized everything yet (Just gonna read through them before I sleep every night), the other is investment. I can't even do maths, yet I still have the privilege to do investment finance modules. It's an open book exam, but I can't even really calculate anything without referring to the answer sheet. I'm only at chapter 3 with 5 chapters and 5 more days to go. I only have 1 more day of remembering and knowing roughly how to calculate before I start doing my exams papers and going through questions. I need more discipline, and a humble heart, and brain full of wisdom and God's strength.
Can't believe that I'm finally at the last stop of my education journey soon. Suddenly so fearful of the working life. The only thing to anticipate is public holiday. Looking around for Masters degree, but it seem so hard to get. The good ones need working experiences, while the not-so-good ones requires so much money and it's not even really recognize in Singapore.
If only I could just get money without doing anything. But then again, it's not as satisfying as earning your own money and spending it. Boyfriend told me he would 'yang' me if I don't have anymore money. Love how he would always think about me first before himself :) Lucky he met a independent woman in his life :D HAHA! *self-praise*
Oh well, it's going to be 3am soon, timecheck 2.40am. I need to sleep before le boyfriend starts nagging at me and asking to sleep again. Don't like how he always nags at me to sleep more even during exams but knowing that he's truly concerned makes me feel guilty if I ever do snap at him. I really need to curb my temper at times. Too fierce for my own good, need to be more gentle and refined :P
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