moving on

I  was up at facebook. because I wanted to accept some friend request and upload some overdue photos which I know that  I should upload eon ago. After finishing, I saw my notifications, and alerts on birthday, and ur face popped up. I don't know what happened in your life, because I told myself not to go there, for fear that my heart would be broken again. But still, I know that I have to face up to the truth. I don't know if I have already gotten over you, and I knew that I should. So I went over and click. No. I did not regret clicking.

Because when I saw the dates, I was stunned for a moment. But I did not think about it any more. It was more of what the hell. and move on. I knew somewhat in my mind, you would do it. But you did not have the guts and tell me, and to think you would even go to the extent of trying to explain to me that you did not. and two-timing and such, was the last straw.

And to think I was wasting my tears on you, trying to convince myself that you aren't that bad. And even don't dare to log in to facebook and such. To make such big steps to forget and to move on and making myself abit miserable.

my first reaction was what the hell and that's it. Nothing else matters. I am not angry, but stunned. And I don't even feel like crying, but was happy. I don't know why I was happy. But to see you happy, I am feeling alright. I used to wish that you would be miserable, but then I grew out of it. I want to move on also. I cannot just keep on waiting, and wishing and knowing that you would never come back to me. I need to search for my own happiness also.

Forgiving people whom I am once closed to is one of the hardest things in life. But I've done it, by God's grace.

• And Today, I feel thankful for all my brothers and sisters who have been praying for me, taking care of me, listening to me, trying to help me in any ways possible, as well as secretly caring about me. I know who you are :) Thanks! 
• Close friends who have been with me since I was 7, till now, and seen my character inside out and loving me so much. (seriously, when ppl get drunk, they always say the most truthful things) and making me feel so loved by you all :) I know that I can count onto you all :P hehehee!!! and what stays there, stays :P 
• And my two brothers who would go out of the way to get me food that I suddenly have cravings for. and always doing my share of the chores :P and playing games with me, and giving in to me by watching running man with me even though I know you wanted to watch your animes with HDMI cable! :DDD And parents who promised to paint my room and deco my room any kind that I wanted and supporting me even though you guys nag a lot at times. LOL! :P 
• And most importantly GOD DADDY! for letting me see his true colours, and putting the right people in my life, for showing me who my true friends are and how loved I am. And for showing me who are the wrong people, and giving me enough courage to do what is right, and not conforming to the wrong. Show me that your plan is much more better than mine. I know that you would want to give me the best. 

Right now, all I want to do is to do it right with God, treat my loved ones right, and do well in my academics. Nothing else matters right now. 

Proud to say: I've officially moved on :)