my best friend

Having a very very very bad argument with my best friend.
Feeling so sad and tired right now... Things weren't meant to be this way.
I rather shut out, and rather keep mum about it,
than to hurt and bring the person down...
Because I don't want to hurt another person.

Was at bukit batok hillside park before going to school to settle school stuff, near the hill to do my bi-annual reflection, and at the same time, thinking about the problems that we had recently. From listing to them one by one, and praying to God and asking him for wisdom and peace to do the right thing, how to put things right with my best friend. this was my only place of solace, ever since I've found out that people rarely visit the area. 

I always go there whenever I have a problem, it was one of the places that I could really sit down and think about what to do, how to settle etc. Almost all my important decisions was decided there, be it praying about my poly results, university admissions - SMU vs SIM, giving up a relationship, thinking about "what to do with my life", having a chillax sessions with a bag of chips and a drink, all by myself. Being alone, being me. The last time I went there (December).. disastrous... I ended up crying and asking God why, and telling him how much my heart hurts.

Today, I went back, my heart hurts, but it wasn't because of him anymore. It because of my best friend for xx number of years, and reduced to this. For one who cherish friendship as much as relationship, my heart hurts alot. It's the more serious argument that we had, and for once, it ended up quite badly. Hoping to fix it back.. but I don't know how long it would take.

My best friend: I don't know if you ever do see this, but if you do.. I really hate arguing and being unhappy. You always make me happy, we never have things run out to say, and we always know and understand each other, to the point that all it took was just a nod or a wink of an eye, or even just examining facial expressions. You have seen me at my worst and my best, but you still stood by me nonetheless, rooting for me. But lately, I don't know and why we had so much arguments. I really hate arguing with you, and making the both of us unhappy with each other. Could we just forgo, and continue being what we were before we started arguing? :(