God, I need you now more than ever. Broke down during service today. God, heal me, take me, comfort me, take me out of my situation. I am ever so tired. I lament, I don't know why this happen to me, I don't know why do I feel so hurt. Everyday I tell myself, tomorrow will be a better day. But the days seems so bleak. It's like I can never see the light.
I can't believe, that I can be so afraid of something. Always putting on a brave front in front of others. Not telling anyone how I truly feel. Always carrying my own burden. Doing things whereby no one can ever see. Having so many things to do, yet I think I can do it. I want to be able to get it out, but it seems so impossible right now.
Getting these words out of my chest, makes me feel better. God, I want to continue walking with you. Maybe you are talking to me during service. Telling me that you will always be with me, I will be still, listen to your voice, read your words and be a better person. But above all, love you and never ever let you go. God, IDK if you are speaking to me, but it was as though you did talk to me. I know that you will always be there for me. I am blessed, to have you as my heavenly father. Thanks daddy, for putting important people in my life to guide, teach me.
This is the only revenue, that I can blog about. This is the only time, whereby my other self lingers. The one that is totally opposite from the other. Never prefect, only scarred.
I do not regret. Because I've done my best. If my best is not enough so be it. It was never between me and you/them. It was only between God and me. If judgement comes down towards me, I would accept it. Because I know what's right and what's wrong and that if you are in the wrong, you need to face your consequences, no matter how undesirable it is.
