Sometimes, knowing what I want is not exactly a good thing. because then you expect the person to be like that, but if he/she doesn't goes the way you wanted... what else lies at the end of the tunnel?
Sometimes I feel like I'm too demanding wanting something to be done this way and this pattern or else it would be too hard to accept. I actually hear comments about being too perfect and wanting everything to be done and proper before it could be carried out. Being too rigid and stuff like that.
But if it was a group project/individual projects/events etc, don't you want to do your very best before handing it up to lecturers or making sure that the event run smoothly with no hiccups? Don't you want to make sure that the guy/girl that you fall in love with would be able to last till death do us part?
Sometimes I feel shy asking for more ... but if I don't get that "more" my heart will start to race and I get very worried. I know that sometimes I worry too much and such. But really, isn't it just human?
You don't need too much fanciful words to make me happy... but at least give me enough to make me feel loved or feel that I'm being cared for. Is it too much to ask for? Why does my pride and the "feeling of being too troublesome and worrying if I hurt the other person" gets into my way?
I don't know how to tell you nicely... and neither do I want to say it... right now... wrong timing? but what's right timing? Busyness is getting into the way. Why is it that I don't want to get into it, but I fall deeper and harder? :( God, what's your plan? May your plan be higher than mine and let me submit to your plans no matter how long it takes.
Am I asking for too much again? idk... really... but the feeling of having my heart jumping like mad sucks. Patience helen, patience. Need to get even busier than to think of r/s. focus. I'm determined to get damn busy nowadays. jiayou! Smile and everything will get better tomorrow... if tomorrow doesn't gets better, it's not tomorrow's tomorrow. There are still alot of tomorrow coming in.
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