insecurities

Before sleeping, when the night is still and the only thing that are accompanying me would be my thoughts. Thoughts, are the scariest things in life. Overthinking kills, and it creates a problems that wasn't even there in the first place. But why overthink? I often ask myself this. Is it really impt that I would lose sleep, or even cry abit before drifting off to dreamland only to wake up with puffy eyes?


Sometimes, I just feel insecure and uncertain about everything. Be it studies, friends, bgr etc etc. There are so many things that I would feel scared about losing. Because they are things that matter the most to me. Words made me feel insecure too. When ppl started questioning the things that i held dear to, or shake my beliefs, I feel afraid, I won't want it to happen literally. I would get afraid and shut off my feelings to others, or masking it with a smile. And I did it so well, that only 1-2 people would notice it.


And today, tonight, the feeling is greater than ever before. Typing down helps? Idk. But I ran out of ideas to make them go away. I'm so tired and sleepy, and I don't know what to do already.